It's an intriguing idea but it comes across as a bit thin on screen. The most interesting parts of the film are obviously the videotapes and yet we barely see any of these. Voyeurism is literally shown but it's kind of brushed under the carpet; we never get any insight into Graham. He just seems like a friendly amateur documentary maker rather than someone driven by a fetish or frustrated by their impotency. Spader plays fetishist much better in Crash.
Cynthia and John are just too irritating and self-centred; they're on screen far too much for my liking. They're not even comically self-centred; they're simply unpleasant people. MacDowell is very likeable as Ann and she centres the film.
Does the film contain very much of what's in its title? No more than your average film. Sex is the conversation topic but for a film that was supposedly controversial in its time for its frank discussion, it's all very tame. Lies- well, there's an affair. Videotape- the film's one distinguishing factor but woefully underused.
The main problem for me is that everything is too conventional. Naturally Ann and Graham are going to be normalised; it's as if the videotapes are just a jolly marital aid. Director/writer Stephen Soderbergh just won't go dark enough; unlike Neil LaBute, who displays it all in Your Friends and Neighbors.
Recommended for further watching: Your Friends and Neighbors, Crash, Secretary